I’m embarrassed with how I used to think about paid time off. I prided myself as a person as someone who never took it.
I remember only taking a week of paternity leave after my first kid. Reflecting on this brings me instant regret.
Gah, just writing about it makes my gut churn. What kind of message am I sending to my wife?
Yay, wife! I’ll make sure that I at least appear to keep working hard and leave you to fend for yourself in with child rearing.
Embarrassing. Worst part about this is that I shamefully did this not once, but twice.
I frowned at others who regularly scheduled trips for their quarterly R&R. This was usually the same person who left a little bit before 5pm.
It’s 4:30p,, bro. Really? We leaving right now? Am I on a team with a bunch of casuals or are we playing championship?
How I appeared to work looked a lot like this:
- First in, last out. Gotta show I’m committed!
- Don’t ever use PTO.
The primary motivation for doing this was develop the optics as a hard-working team member on mission. The sad part about this is was actually less about being on mission and more about developing a reputation. This is actually a deep rooted insecurity but that's for another atomic essay.
If only I had spent more of that time developing effective working habits we all know that I could have easily spent 20% less time in the office and have been at least 50% more effective at the same time. Those numbers are made up but probably aren’t that far fetched.